Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
