i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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