were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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