You just made me feel so damn special
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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