Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
