I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
oh god the rape fog is back!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
