I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So squirting runs in the family.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
