Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
