Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
PANTIES FOUND
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