I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
