You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
