before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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