party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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