Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
