A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
