I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
