I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
