We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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