Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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