He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
