so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
