I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
