im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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