Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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