My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
