soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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