can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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