yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
