Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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