You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
