Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
