We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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