Soap is not a condiment
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
