We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
