I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
