sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
