You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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