i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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