I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
