I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
