If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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