Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
