bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
