I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
