Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
