i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
