im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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