i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
