"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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