He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
