i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
