im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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